John Markum

Month: August 2015

The Benefits of a Young Pastor

Posted on by johnmarkum

YOUNGI was 14 years old when I committed my life to vocational ministry and preached my first message. I graduated Bible college at 22, and at 24 was ordained.

Now, at 33, I’m the lead pastor of a church plant. I regularly get told, “You don’t look like a pastor?!” I actually enjoy this comment. Most people apparently think that a pastor has to be a certain age (50’s +), and dress with a weird white collar, or at least a suit and tie. I play Xbox, preach in jeans and a V-neck, and recognize most of the artists on your teens playlist. Not exactly the typical “clergy” persona, I guess.

Most churches looking to hire a pastor, want a man who is at least 50, has a Masters of Divinity, and 20 years experience. It’s obvious to me that a young pastor has always received significant criticism for their youth.  Even the apostle Paul gave his young protege, Timothy (a young pastor) some important instruction: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12)

So here are a few benefits I see to having a young, lead pastor:

  1. Tenure. A young lead pastor has the potential to serve one church for 30+ years. LifeCity’s sending church saw it’s best years under the 44 year ministry of a personal friend and mentor, Mel Brown. The church was running about 120 people when he became “pastor” back in 1968. At the point he retired, the church was running over 800 every week. You could count on one hand the number of people who were there before him at that point. Which means he had been pastor to them, their kids, grand kids, and even many great grandkids to some of those “original” members. He was 25 when he started.
  2. Multi-generational. In their late 20s – early 30s, young pastors can relate equally well to teens as they can to their parents. We’ve seen the challenges of our parents’ generation, our own, and the one coming behind us with nearly equal contact. A church generally attracts people in the community who are in the same stage of life as them. Having a younger pastor makes a church feel more welcoming to a family his age.
  3. Passion. One of the greatest assets a young church leaders has is an unbroken spirit. Many seasoned veterans in ministry have taken massive emotional and relational wounds over the years. You can’t live through the gut-wrenching experiences many pastors have had to lead families and churches through without losing some of your zeal and drive along the way. And to be perfectly clear, young pastors will get theirs also, given just a little more time… But beforehand, these early years of our pastoral ministry are limited and precious for what they have to offer the church in terms of vision, leadership, passion, and faith for God to do the unimaginable. This should be leveraged by those they lead, not scorned.
  4. Outreach. When young pastors talk about reaching people far from God to fully experience life in Christ, we’re not talking theory – we’re talking about our own current relationships. We almost all have friends that we’re trying to live Jesus toward and show the love of God. At some point in pastoring over decades in the same place, the overwhelming majority of your friendships consist largely of people within the church. It takes much greater effort at that point to befriend those outside the church and remember what it’s like to live your faith to someone who doesn’t have the same starting point as you. For young leaders, it’s quite fresh – and urgent.

And as I’ve already mentioned one mentor from an older era, let me also be quick to say – my ministry, and everything I’ve learned is indebted to those who have faithfully lead by example before me. I could write countless posts about each of the great men who have influenced my life, family, and ministry. I hope to pass the torch of leadership to the next generation, just as many of them have to mine.

Blessings,
Pastor John

Affair Proof Marriage

Posted on by johnmarkum

AP marriage“He cheated on me. He finally admitted it. I never thought this would happen to us.”

I’ve heard some version of this sickening story enough to make me want to puke just thinking about it. And I’ve heard it from the men almost as often as I have the wife. Sadder still, several of the couples broken by sexual deviance were pastoral homes – men and women who at some point were serving as a ministry leader in a church. People who were suppose to be examples in their community of what a healthy marriage should look like.

Truth is, none of are any better – we’re capable, as we are, of doing the same thing. The only thing that will make any of our lives turn out differently is if we choose to set ourselves above temptation and opportunity. But those things require commitment, discipline, and hard work. But the payoff is worth it by far. Here are a few things that my wife and I try to live out, and what we teach other couples to do if they want an affair-proof marriage:

  1. No opposite sex besties. When it comes to women, I only have one best friend, and she married me over 11 years ago. That kind of emotional intimacy to a different person other than your spouse will always cause tension. It’s inevitable. Yes, I know of a small few exceptions, but I know overwhelmingly far more broken marriages.
  2. Never alone with another man/woman. We have rules about who’s at our house when the other is not here. If I’m home alone, no other woman comes into the house with me. And kids don’t count. The opposite is true with Tiffany. Yes, I know that being alone doesn’t lead to sex. But it does lead to stray thoughts, temptation, and suspicion. I’d prefer to keep a clear conscience. I don’t even ride alone in a car with another woman. Sound weird? Fine by me. My wife trusts me. And her opinion matters more to me. Maybe we should all be called weird for the sake of affair-proofing our marriages.
  3. Open tech. Tiffany and I have unlimited, open access to each others’ phones, tablets, Netflix, emails, social media, private messages, web browsers, etc. And since I know she can see any of my stuff at any point in time, I’m never tempted to look at something, or communicate with someone in any way that I would be ashamed to show her.
  4. Work on our problems. We don’t get to sleep until we work through our arguments. That has led to some very exhausting, tear-filled late nights. It’s been 3am before problems finally found resolution. It’s not over until there are sincere apologies (on both sides), forgiveness, and a plan to work forward from that point. What does that have to do with affairs? Many of them begin because the grass looks greener on the other side. Usually, that just means you need to pull some weeds and water your own lawn.
  5. Date each other. Not having time and money are excuses. You make time for what’s important, and you can be cheap – just spend time together, and focus on each other. You don’t even have to go out every time. Staying in the habit of investing time and effort into your marriage pays dividends in multiple areas. It reinforces your connection, builds trusts, and fulfills emotional intimacy that often leads to keeping good sexual intimacy between each other.

May your marriage and family never be scarred by the wound of an affair. And to those of you who have endured it and made it with your marriage intact, I find you phenomenally gracious, committed people.  To those who didn’t make it, my heart breaks for you. Healing and hope are still yours to be had. I pray you find both in due time.

Blessings,
Pastor John

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