John Markum

Year: 2019

How to Know You’ve Forgiven Someone

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I’ve often spoke and written on forgiveness, and it occurs to me that there is a lot of different understandings on what it is. Some say “forgive and forget” – a near psychological impossibility – while some have attempted to leverage the pain others caused them to prove the haters wrong; using their unforgiveness as a sort of fuel to drive them forward.

But I find that we all know instinctively that forgiveness is important and necessary for our own well being. I’ve often taught that withholding forgiveness is like drinking poison, but expecting it to hurt the other person. Others have said that forgiving is like setting a prisoner free, only to realize the prisoner was actually you.

We know we should forgive. Often, we want to forgive. But how do we forgive someone who has wronged us, and how do we know we’ve truly granted forgiveness to the other person?

  • Forgiveness is a choice. That means it starts with your will, and the good news about that, is you have direct control over it. The feeling of forgiveness follows the decision to forgive.
  • Forgiveness is a process. It’s not as simple as snapping your fingers, deciding you’ve forgiven someone, and it’s over. This is why it’s harder to forgive some things more than others. The greater the hurt, the harder the process. So once you’ve decided you should forgive someone, you’ll often have to “re-forgive” their offense, as the feelings of hurt, anger, and bitterness try to creep back in.
  • Forgiveness is self-care. It’s not simple a matter of whether the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Truth is NO ONE deserves to be forgiven! But love requires forgiveness. Love for the other person, but also love for yourself. Forgiving someone doesn’t just mean that they get to move on, it means you get to move on.
  • Forgiveness is not forgetfulness. As mentioned earlier, you can’t! We lie to ourselves when we say “forgive and forget”. Sometimes, forgiveness means I’m not going to trust you again. Sometimes it means, I’m not putting myself in a position where I have to forgive you again.
  • Forgiveness has a calling card. You know you’ve truly forgiven when you get to the point where you want what’s best for them, not what they “deserve.” If they get hurt back, and you think “Ha! Karma! Finally!” You definitely have not forgiven them. If instead you hurt for them, that’s a sign you’ve truly let something go, and given them what you would want – what you need – when the role is reversed.

Blessings,
Pastor John

Tis the Season

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For depression, that is. While everyone is feeling festive, getting creative with costumes, planning Thanksgiving dinners, and family trips for Christmas, the winter season also extracts a high toll for many people as well.

Daylight Savings just changed, so it’s darker earlier. We remember lost loved ones who you don’t get to celebrate the holidays with us anymore. Another year is ending, and realization sets in that you’re not where you hoped you be this year… again. And while everyone else seems so happy, you can easily be managing that “lonely in a crowd” feeling, while suffering with your pain internally.

Let me offer a few tips to surviving what has been called by many as Seasonal Onset Depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) this holiday season…

  1. Talk to someone! This is number one, because many people struggle alone unnecessarily. And you don’t have to! Chances are, you’re not alone. You don’t need a lot of people, but you need a one or two good ones, who know your pain, and who you can reach out to in a moments notice and know they’ll respond.
  2. Wake up earlier. The sun didn’t go away completely, we just messed our clocks up! If you make it a point to wake up a little earlier than before, you’ll get to see some of the sunlight. And that is really good for your mental health.
  3. Take care of your body. I’ve anticipated this with my own emotional struggles, and I got back into the gym about a month ago. I literally feel like I’m working my depression off even more than I’m working off the extra calories I probably shouldn’t have consumed.
  4. Stay in community. While you need one or two good people to confide in about your struggles, it’s also healthy to go to the company party, family gathering, church event, or whatever other forms of community you might be interested in participating in. It reminds you that you belong to this human race, you’re not alone, and there is good to experience, primarily through other people.
  5. Prayer/Meditation. Part of dealing with your depression is actually dealing with it. Time in prayer and meditation is a fantastic way to confront your struggle directly and process your pain in a productive manner that actually leads to healing.
  6. Don’t be ashamed. You’re not a blight on the season! You’re growing, healing, and communicating through your real struggle. So don’t add unnecessary guilt on top of depression.

Be healthy. Talk to someone, deal with your problems, don’t be ashamed… there’s hope for you! It might not be your fault for feeling this way, but it is your responsibility to take care of yourself through this season. Try to focus on the joys this season. There are a lot of wonderful things to reflect on and experience. Depression doesn’t have to dominate your season.

Blessings,
Pastor John

Great things are on the way!

Posted on by johnmarkum

I’m proud to announce that so many great things are coming through this platform! Over the past few months, I’ve shared through my blog and social media regarding my very deep and personal struggle with anxiety and depression. I’ve talked a lot about how 2018 was a rough year for my spiritual and emotional health.

Thanks to many people in my life, family, and church – and of course also to a gracious loving, Heavenly Father – I have felt far more whole these last few months than I have in a very, very long time. I still don’t consider myself “healed” of depression. Perhaps I’m just cautious of claiming total deliverance. But I’m also very aware that the struggles that led me to this place are ever present with me.

However, one of the clearest signs I’ve seen in myself that I’m returning to a place of wholeness, has been the passion I’ve regained for my ministry. LifeCity Church is growing again. There’s new life and energy coming back in our congregation. I’m finding peace and comfort in the things I use to love, but over the past year couldn’t even bring myself to have the motivation to begin. Cooking, fishing, blogging, podcasting – all opportunities I found great satisfaction in doing in the past, but haven’t had the will to begin in a long time.

Along those lines, I’m now ready announce several new pursuits I’ve been recently working on and developing…

  1. John Markum Leadership Podcast is returning! I’ve had so much on my mind and on my heart that belong in this podcast. And I’ve received a lot of feedback from listeners who have asked for it to return. This podcast is particularly for pastors, missionaries, Bible college students, church volunteers, or anyone wanting to grow in their faith and potential to serve in the Kingdom. Episodes will begin monthly, starting in a few weeks, and I’ve already been working hard to develop the first four episodes.
  2. Understanding the Bible podcast! I began a podcast last spring that had great merits, but was entirely too ambitious. I’m changing it to be more of a conversation on biblical issues and theology, yet simple enough for anyone to understand, no matter your previous Bible knowledge level.
  3. Time with God devotional podcast. A new podcast that is perfect for your workout time or commute. Intended as a daily devotional, each episode is 10-15 minutes in length and is great for having some time with God and listening to the Scriptures on your daily drive or morning run. Get your daily fix of encouragement and spiritual recharging.
  4. Bible and Ministry courses! Still in the works, and anticipating to release my first course end of this year, or early 2020, I’m beginning to create online courses to teach others how to preach, read and interpret the Scriptures, understand theology in an academic sense, and more. I’ve been creating these resources as an alternative to lay leaders, volunteers, and bivocational pastors – all of whom deserve excellent resources that work on their time, without having to uproot themselves from their homes, jobs, and current ministries to pursue ministry instruction via traditional Bible college options.

You’ll be hearing more about each of these resources, that I will continue to build and announce through my blog here. Additionally, I really want to scale these resources for people’s growth and education. So I’m doing something new that I’ll share more about later. I’m inviting others to support the on-going development of these resources here. Yes, everything is free other than the courses I’m working hard on, but I really want to create content for many, many people to learn and grow from. I’ll talk more about the new Patreon initiative later, but your early support is greatly appreciated!

I look forward to announcing the first releases soon!

Blessings,
Pastor John

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