John Markum

7 Valentine Ideas for Men

If you’re a dude, you know that you can’t neglect to do “something” for your wife for Valentine’s day. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut and not be sure what to do. Here are a few ideas to get you thinking in the right direction. By all means, adapt as necessary to woo your woman’s heart…

  1. Come home early. There’s hardly a worse way to begin a night of romancing your wife like trying to hurry her out the door so that you don’t miss a reservation. Take your time.
  2. Flowers. Simple. Easy. And (almost) every woman loves them.
  3. Dinner. Either somewhere decent, or home cooked, but only if you have more in your cooking repertoire past grilling meat.
  4. Dress nicer. Please tell me you have at least one good button-down collar shirt? Tie not required. You’re dating your wife, not taking her back to the wedding altar.
  5. Personal touch. Do at least one thing that is special and unique to the two of you. This shows that you actually planned something. This could be in the form of a gift.
  6. Talk! Don’t go to a movie or anywhere that you are expected to sit quietly. Instead, go for a walk somewhere decent where you can connect.
  7. Memories. Bring up a favorite time the two of you had together, and tell her why you liked that time. Use details.

Be a real man: romance your wife.

Blessings,

John

The High 5 for Hubands

“Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her… for a man who shows love for his wife, actually loves himself.” Ephesians 5 :25,28

The idea of the husband “loving” his wife here in Ephesians 5, is the idea “to cherish.” In other words, to make safe; worth protecting; to treat as precious. This means that she can allow herself to be vulnerable because she is safe with you.

Husbands, if you want a happy marriage, you must make your wife feel cherished in the following 5 areas. Wives, don’t be afraid to point your man to this post:

  1. Physically: This one’s simple. Bottom line, she doesn’t have to be afraid that you’ll physically hurt her. This also includes providing a safe home, keeping “bad guys” away from your family, and getting up to chase odd “noises” out of the house at all hours of the night.
  2. Emotionally: This is most often displayed best during a disagreement by what you say and don’t say, and how you say it. If you resort to verbally attacking your wife during an argument, she will not feel emotionally safe around you. But if you can find a way to speak life into her even though you’re upset, then you can actually gain from an argument, instead of simply enduring it.
  3. Financially: Dude, you don’t have to make all the money in the house (although you could…). You don’t even have to make most of the money. Honestly, if you’re wife is some mega-millionaire author, I don’t even care if you work outside the home at all. But you are still responsible for making sure the financial needs of your family are met. You don’t have to make excessive amounts of revenue, but you must make her feel safe, financially.
  4. Sexually: Sex is more than a physical interaction between a husband and wife. It is emotional and, I believe, even spiritual. Many women feel the most vulnerable in this area, and her husband must make her feel loved, cherished, precious, and worth protecting. Men, be very careful about criticizing your wife’s body or giving her a litany of the things about her physically that you wish were different. Choose to see her as the most beautiful women in your world. True love isn’t blind. It just wears blinders.
  5. Spiritually: In too many homes, the wife is the one nagging everyone on the weekend to get ready for church. I’m just going to say it: Husbands, stand up and be a man. Take leadership in your home. YOU be the agent of spiritual growth for your family. Don’t make your wife have to take those reigns. Pray with your wife. Talk to her about spiritual things. If she knows more than you, it’s ok. Ask her questions. Initiate spiritual leadership in your home.

All these things are intertwined. They are connected and one affects another. This may seem like an over-simplification of how a husband should treat his wife, but if every husband (myself included) became masters at loving their wives in these 5 ways, we would all likely have better marriages.

Blessings,

John

Making summer memories…

Every season has it’s unique qualities that make them special. But for me, no season tops summer! Some of my best memories come from summertime. Topping the list, I think of…

  1. Living and working with my cousins, Ronnie and Rhonda Markum, in Stillwater, OK. I worked real hard, learned a ton of practical skills, and spent time with a great part of my extended family. (1997)
  2. Panama Missions Trip… Nothing short of powerful and life changing. Sealed my decision to go into ministry. (1999)
  3. Arriving at Bible college alone. Felt God speaking His confidence into me like never before. Wouldn’t change anything (2000)
  4. Finding and falling in love with my wife/Marrying her the following summer (2003/2004)
  5. Moving to the Quad Cities and Edgewood. (2008)

With a thousand other things that make summer what it means to me -fishing with Dad, baseball, mowing lawns, swimming, the beach, 4th of July, camping, tans, etc.- I always look forward to what each summer has to bring. What are some of your favorite summer memories? Leave a comment and share!

Blessings,

John

The phrase no pain, no gain has been a mantra for athletes and fitness junkies for years. And what they understand about physical pain needs to be broadened to a much more general use in all of our lives. Pain hurts. That's the whole problem. No one enjoys it, and if someone does, we rightfully

The Premium of Pain