“The VIRGIN Bachelor”


That’s what the magazine read on my way through the checkout line at WalMart (yes, WalMart, don’t judge me). Not that I’m racing home to catch Sean Lowe picking through two dozen plus women on national television for The Bachelor, but it’s hard to miss all of the buzz as the season is apparently winding down. The cliff notes of the buzz stirring lately seem to be that Sean, “a devote Christian” has been saving himself for marriage, sexually speaking – something difficult to maintain as a contestant of the show, from what I understand.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that The Bachelor is a suitable show, nor am I advocating getting emotionally (or physically) entangled with multiple people for the sake of millions of viewers’ entertainment. I also am not verifying that this season’s Bachelor is a role-model Christian. I don’t know the guy! However, if he has indeed committed to saving his sexuality for marriage, I certainly support such a commitment.

The rub for me, is that many of the news articles I’ve seen are treating Sean as if he has some disability for being an attractive man in his 20’s that is not sleeping with any number of the potentially willing women on his show. Apparently, now engaged to one of the “contestants,” he still insists on waiting until their wedding to have sex.

I’m tired of the way the media, internet, and movies try to brainwash our culture about our own sexuality. To the point that a man who appears physically healthy is criticized for valuing himself enough to save his sexuality for a commitment (a.k.a. marriage) where it can be freely expressed with a trusted person (a.k.a. his wife). If he isn’t “doing it” there must be a reason, right? Because “normal” people don’t wait until marriage for sex… right?!

Listen up men…

  • Having sex does not make you a “real man”.
  • Choosing to delay your own gratification makes you wise, not weird.
  • Having sex with virtually every willing female does not make you a man – dogs do that.
  • Real men commit to keeping their God-given sexuality for their wife alone.
  • Sex before marriage ruins good relationships and prolongs bad ones. I haven’t seen an exception yet.
  • If you’ve made some mistakes in the past, you can be different from this point forward – your past does not have to define you.

Assuming this season’s Bachelor and his fiance do maintain their sexual boundaries, I am very confident that it will all work out on their wedding night. For all the talk of the need for “sexual compatibility,” our culture forgets that their talking about people, not used cars. I know far more people who slept around that regret it, than those who saved themselves and wished they had not.

Be unique. Save your sex… And find something better than The Bachelor to watch, too! Gees, people…

Pastor John

Monday Morning Review

Welcome back to a regular work week! I hope you all had an AMAZING Thanksgiving day with friends and family. Last week for me, our family, and church broke down like this:

  • Spent the first part of the week recovering from my trip to Indiana where I got to speak to 80 teens at an All-Nighter.
  • Shopped, prepped, and cooked Thanksgiving dinner with my family. Pics and recipes coming soon, I swear!
  • Ate food, played with kids, and spent time with my wife. So grateful for all the good things God has blessed us with!
  • Stayed up way too late playing video games as my coupon clipping, sale-hunting, savings queen-of-the-universe wife (official title) left at 11:30 Thanksgiving night to spend the next 8 hours systematically hitting the best black-Friday sales available. She spent far less than most. God loves me…
  • Took wife and kids to the Festival of Trees Saturday morning. Ran into a friend from church who gave us a $10 punch card to play the games. I love our church family! We all had a great time together.
  • Got our worship on Saturday night with a good crowd. Saw more visitors, some from out of town visiting family. We worshiped like we loved Jesus, preached God’s Word, and people gave their lives to Christ. Jesus is awesome!
  • Came back Sunday morning to see more of our out-of-town college students. I love their generation! They are world-changers… you watch and see!
  • Came home, cleaned the house from a crazy week and watched Iron Chef America with the newest Iron Chef winning his first battle. I’m a food nerd…  I can’t help it.

I hope you have a great week getting back into your routines. May you experience God’s blessings and power in your life. I look forward to seeing many of you back this Saturday for our new series “Shine.” More on that later this week!



18 Myths Singles Believe

This is coming straight from Perry Noble, pastor of NewSpring Church in SC and deserves reposting. Some apply more to men, some apply more to women. Here are 18 myths that singles buy into:

  • #1: Being miserable is the result of being single…getting married will solve all my problems.
  • #2: I’ve messed up in my past and do not deserve anyone good. (See I Corinthians 6:9-11, especially focus on verse 11!)
  • #3: Ephesians 3:20 isn’t true for me and my future spouse…I need to settle.
  • #4: This relationship that I am in isn’t what I would like my marriage to be like..but when we get married I can change this person.
  • #5: Having sex will simplify things and cause the person I am dating and myself to have so much more in common.  (See I Corinthians 6:18-20)
  • #6: This person is not God’s best for me…but if I rush through the process of dating and getting married then I have God backed into a corner and He has to bless me because He loves me, right?  (See Deuteronomy 6:16)
  • #7: Marriage isn’t that big of a deal…if my first one does not work out then I can drop them and start over.  (See Malachi 2:13-16)
  • #8: Getting married isn’t going to alter my lifestyle…I am still going to be able to live like I did when I was single, the only difference is I’m going to get to have more sex.
  • #9: I am going to get to have sex anytime I want.
  • #10: We are going to cuddle all of the time.
  • #11: The things that really get all over my nerves about this person won’t bother me as much when we get married.
  • #12: The fact that we do not agree on what we believe when it comes to Jesus and the church will not impact the way we raise our kids. (See II Corinthians 6:14 and Amos 3:3)
  • #13: We should live together before we get married to give it a “trial run,” after all, you would not buy a car without test driving it first.  (See Hebrews 13:4)
  • #14: I need to keep as many secrets about my past from this person as possible; after all, my past issues won’t impact this relationship at all.
  • #15: All of my friends are married…I am not…something is obviously wrong with me.
  • #16: The way I handle my money now will not impact my future marriage.
  • #17: When I get married my spouse will meet all of my needs.
  • #18: Dating is tough…marriage is easy!