John Markum

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Tis the Season

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For depression, that is. While everyone is feeling festive, getting creative with costumes, planning Thanksgiving dinners, and family trips for Christmas, the winter season also extracts a high toll for many people as well.

Daylight Savings just changed, so it’s darker earlier. We remember lost loved ones who you don’t get to celebrate the holidays with us anymore. Another year is ending, and realization sets in that you’re not where you hoped you be this year… again. And while everyone else seems so happy, you can easily be managing that “lonely in a crowd” feeling, while suffering with your pain internally.

Let me offer a few tips to surviving what has been called by many as Seasonal Onset Depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) this holiday season…

  1. Talk to someone! This is number one, because many people struggle alone unnecessarily. And you don’t have to! Chances are, you’re not alone. You don’t need a lot of people, but you need a one or two good ones, who know your pain, and who you can reach out to in a moments notice and know they’ll respond.
  2. Wake up earlier. The sun didn’t go away completely, we just messed our clocks up! If you make it a point to wake up a little earlier than before, you’ll get to see some of the sunlight. And that is really good for your mental health.
  3. Take care of your body. I’ve anticipated this with my own emotional struggles, and I got back into the gym about a month ago. I literally feel like I’m working my depression off even more than I’m working off the extra calories I probably shouldn’t have consumed.
  4. Stay in community. While you need one or two good people to confide in about your struggles, it’s also healthy to go to the company party, family gathering, church event, or whatever other forms of community you might be interested in participating in. It reminds you that you belong to this human race, you’re not alone, and there is good to experience, primarily through other people.
  5. Prayer/Meditation. Part of dealing with your depression is actually dealing with it. Time in prayer and meditation is a fantastic way to confront your struggle directly and process your pain in a productive manner that actually leads to healing.
  6. Don’t be ashamed. You’re not a blight on the season! You’re growing, healing, and communicating through your real struggle. So don’t add unnecessary guilt on top of depression.

Be healthy. Talk to someone, deal with your problems, don’t be ashamed… there’s hope for you! It might not be your fault for feeling this way, but it is your responsibility to take care of yourself through this season. Try to focus on the joys this season. There are a lot of wonderful things to reflect on and experience. Depression doesn’t have to dominate your season.

Blessings,
Pastor John

Great things are on the way!

Posted on by johnmarkum

I’m proud to announce that so many great things are coming through this platform! Over the past few months, I’ve shared through my blog and social media regarding my very deep and personal struggle with anxiety and depression. I’ve talked a lot about how 2018 was a rough year for my spiritual and emotional health.

Thanks to many people in my life, family, and church – and of course also to a gracious loving, Heavenly Father – I have felt far more whole these last few months than I have in a very, very long time. I still don’t consider myself “healed” of depression. Perhaps I’m just cautious of claiming total deliverance. But I’m also very aware that the struggles that led me to this place are ever present with me.

However, one of the clearest signs I’ve seen in myself that I’m returning to a place of wholeness, has been the passion I’ve regained for my ministry. LifeCity Church is growing again. There’s new life and energy coming back in our congregation. I’m finding peace and comfort in the things I use to love, but over the past year couldn’t even bring myself to have the motivation to begin. Cooking, fishing, blogging, podcasting – all opportunities I found great satisfaction in doing in the past, but haven’t had the will to begin in a long time.

Along those lines, I’m now ready announce several new pursuits I’ve been recently working on and developing…

  1. John Markum Leadership Podcast is returning! I’ve had so much on my mind and on my heart that belong in this podcast. And I’ve received a lot of feedback from listeners who have asked for it to return. This podcast is particularly for pastors, missionaries, Bible college students, church volunteers, or anyone wanting to grow in their faith and potential to serve in the Kingdom. Episodes will begin monthly, starting in a few weeks, and I’ve already been working hard to develop the first four episodes.
  2. Understanding the Bible podcast! I began a podcast last spring that had great merits, but was entirely too ambitious. I’m changing it to be more of a conversation on biblical issues and theology, yet simple enough for anyone to understand, no matter your previous Bible knowledge level.
  3. Time with God devotional podcast. A new podcast that is perfect for your workout time or commute. Intended as a daily devotional, each episode is 10-15 minutes in length and is great for having some time with God and listening to the Scriptures on your daily drive or morning run. Get your daily fix of encouragement and spiritual recharging.
  4. Bible and Ministry courses! Still in the works, and anticipating to release my first course end of this year, or early 2020, I’m beginning to create online courses to teach others how to preach, read and interpret the Scriptures, understand theology in an academic sense, and more. I’ve been creating these resources as an alternative to lay leaders, volunteers, and bivocational pastors – all of whom deserve excellent resources that work on their time, without having to uproot themselves from their homes, jobs, and current ministries to pursue ministry instruction via traditional Bible college options.

You’ll be hearing more about each of these resources, that I will continue to build and announce through my blog here. Additionally, I really want to scale these resources for people’s growth and education. So I’m doing something new that I’ll share more about later. I’m inviting others to support the on-going development of these resources here. Yes, everything is free other than the courses I’m working hard on, but I really want to create content for many, many people to learn and grow from. I’ll talk more about the new Patreon initiative later, but your early support is greatly appreciated!

I look forward to announcing the first releases soon!

Blessings,
Pastor John

Let’s Talk about Depression: part 3

Posted on by johnmarkum

Road to Recovery

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve begun sharing some of the story of my struggle with depression. And I’ve come to a place where it’s time for me to share some things that I’ve felt have helped me, and I pray will be helpful to others also.

  1. A return to spiritual disciplines. I’ve said in previous posts that depression isn’t something that you just pray away, and I absolutely meant that. What I’ve also noticed, at least in my case, is that the greater the depression looms over me, the easier it is to get distracted from actually following Jesus as an individual. Like Peter trying to walk on the water, the storms of life can often be too hard to ignore, and our focus falls away from the one empowering us to walk over the tumultuous waves. Finding consistent quiet time, prayer, and Bible reading – not just sporadic and chaotically – has helped me immensely.
  2. Becoming open and vulnerable about my struggle. It’s been so good to talk about the thing that’s been weighing me down, and often, eating me up from the inside. Giving myself permission to “not being ok” has not only felt like dropping a heavy load off my back, but it’s brought so many people closer to me. I also have specific people I turn to, confide in, and am accountable to about my health.
  3. Leaning on my spouse. If there’s any one thing I have going for me in this life, it’s that I have a wife who has loved me unconditionally, and unwaveringly. Tiffany Markum is truly the embodiment of the love of Christ to me. And the love and grace she’s shown me through every season of our marriage only seems ever more evident now.
  4. Removing some of the pressures points. I admittedly allowed the ministry to become a source of idolatry for me. I was allowing the church I started to become so great a factor in defining who I was as a person, that if something happened to my ministry, it would throw me into a tale-spin of anxiety and identity. Every time I find my identity in something other than Jesus, it will fail me, and I will fail it. So I did what some would have considered a stupid decision – I left a full time role as lead pastor of my church to go bi-vocational. This forced me to divert a large portion of my attention away from the ministry that I was idolizing, and onto a different venture that I also love and can feel like my talents are being used productively. More on this later…
  5. Making room to rest. My mental and emotional health suffered massively in 2018, among other reasons, because I didn’t make time to rest, recover, and recharge at critical points. I didn’t go out fishing one time for the whole year, and that was one of the most rewarding, recharging activities I ever do. I still haven’t got on the water, but I’ve managed to make more time for my kids and my wife. I’ve enjoyed a few simple pleasures with dear friends. I’ve made space for God to speak to me – and for me to stop and listen. I’ve begun to pray more consistently – like I did before everything became so overwhelming.

Here are a few things I’m not doing yet, but trying to work on to continue to be healthier mentally and emotionally…

  • Go fishing. I already mentioned this, but it is truly therapeutic to be in a boat, on my own or 1-2 friends, line in the water, surrounded by the sounds of the ocean. I miss it greatly and intend to hit the water soon in 2019 when it warms up a bit.
  • Exercise again. In 2016 and 2017, I had gotten back into the gym consistently after years of not working out often enough. 2018 marked a departure from that discipline, and I intend to get back to working out regularly soon.
  • Reading. My reading plan for 2018 became all but abandoned! I did listen to dozens of podcasts – hundreds of various episodes – but I intended to finish far more books than I ended up reading. I’m attacking that hard in 2019 and I’ll share my book reading list later.

One notable thing missing, is medication. I do not intend to go on medication for my anxiety – not because I think it’s wrong. I want to be clear: if you need medication to cope with your anxiety or depression, then by all means, please take care of yourself with the guidance of professional medical advise! I chose not to (up to this point) because I’m personally averse to all medication whenever possible. I feel that way about Advil or Tylenol as well, but I still take it when my headaches are unbearable. I feel the same principal is necessary when depression becomes too much to bear without medication. I have friends who say that antidepressants saved their life – I also have friends who have told me horror stories of how it’s messed with them. I believe all drugs carry risks, so I avoid them when possible, and take them when necessary.

That’s what’s been going on in my life and how Gods used different means of recovering and managing my anxiety/depression. I’d love to hear what has worked for you in the comments below!

Blessings,
John

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