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This is a post from the blog of Dawn Carnahan, a member and volunteer at my church, fellow blogger, and her and her husband also belong to the same LifeGroup as me and Tiff. For more great posts from Dawn, check out her blog here.

The top 5 things you should know before you become a parent….

Raising children is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I know that a lot of parents feel that way. In saying that, here are the top five things I think you should know before you become a parent.

1.  This is a 24/7 job.  Now some people would not like the fact that I am referring to parenthood as a job, but it is.  When I had my first son, I had no idea how much work an 8 pound baby could be. I soon realized that I could go with no sleep just fine with a little help from my friend called caffeine. It was amazing to me that I could function on 1 hour of sleep.  This job offers no pay, no vacation time, or sick leave. But the benefits are priceless.
2. Your children are not perfect. This is a concept that was fairly easy to me. I know that I am not perfect, so they are not going to be.  The thing is there are parents that think their children could walk on water. That is very hard for a child to live up to. I think that every child should have manners and should show respect. This does not mean that they won’t mess up. I mess up as a parent so my children will mess up.
3. People who do not have children will think they know everything about parenting. This is the one thing that surprised me the most. People who do not have children, I have found, have a lot of advice to parents. This advice is generally unwanted but they seem to think they know it all.  As my grandfather would say “When you have children you know nothing, by the time you are done raising them you are an expert.” So be assured that these people have no idea what it is like.
4.  Each child is unique. This sounds like a no-brainer but it’s hard not to compare your children. I have been guilty of this. I not only compare my children to each other, but to other children. Parents are very proud of their children and it is fun to brag about them. This should not be done to make yourself look better or to make others feel bad. I try to let my children be themselves. My oldest son is autistic so he is very different from most children. I had a really hard time not comparing him to other children. That was not good for either of us. My youngest son is my spit fire – which he came by honestly.  My children are very different and I need to embrace their differences.
5. God gave you the children that you were meant to have. I stole this one from my pastor. I like this because it helped me a lot when I have struggled being a parent. God fully equipped you to take care of the children that He gave you. There have been times I have struggled to understand why I have a child that is different. This is the road that God has given me and I have tried to embrace it. Sometimes it’s easier than others. But God has given me the children that He knew I needed and they needed me. So remember that no matter what is going on, you are fully capable of taking care of your children.

 I am no expert in raising children. I am far from it. I yell at my children, get mad, and sometimes understand why animals eat their young.  I do love my children and want the best for them. I hope this helps all future parents and current parents.

 God Bless,

 Dawn

One of the most difficult things I’ve had to learn to do in ministry was the same thing Peter struggled with. In John 21 Jesus asks Peter three times, “Do you love me?” To which he responds “yes, Lord.” And Jesus tells him each time, “Then feed me sheep.”Jesus is the Great Shepherd. But as “pastors” we are called to take care of His sheep. His church.

For the first several years of my ministry, I foolishly believed that my ability to preach, my passion, and even my sound doctrinal stance would somehow be what people needed from me as a pastor. As if people’s greatest need from church was for me to accurately deliver Scriptural truth compellingly. And ironically enough, I would have quoted this passage as support for the churches need to get “fed” the Word of God properly.

Before I go any further, allow me to clear one thing up: I’m not recanting our reliance on the Word of God, the need for doctrinal truth, or the power of sound preaching.

What I am saying, is that the shepherd doesn’t just throw food to the sheep and consider his job done. He tends to the flock. He knows the sheep. He would even suggest that he has a relationship with each of his sheep. He cares for each one personally and passionately.

From this passage, and through the personal growth in my own life and ministry, I observe these truths that God intends of us as pastors:

1. The sheep are His. He told Peter, “Feed my sheep.” I am a steward of the people God places under my influence. I’ll be accountable for that stewardship. (Heb. 13:17)
2. It’s about love. Jesus asked Peter to feed his sheep after He asked Peter if he loved Him, each time. There’s a direct connection between my love for Christ, and my leadership of His church.
3. God tests the heart of a pastor. He asked Peter three times if he loved Jesus and to feed His sheep. Obviously, in Peter’s case, there’s some significance to asking him three times, but I believe the point is still there: God consistently tests the heart of a pastor on his love for Him, and his heart for those under his leadership.
4. Brokenness is required. Jesus pursues Peter’s heart until he gets past the “right” answer. Interestingly, Peter’s answer was the same each time. The only difference the third time was that Peter was broken. Jesus had gotten to the heart issues in Peter’s life. Dealing with people is relationally messy. It requires a humble, broken heart. I’m encouraged by this because it tells me that God will pursue my heart, even past my breaking point, on my love for Him and His commitment to me, as I get relationally involved with the people in my sphere of influence.

Each of these screams relational involvement between God and me, and me and His church. It’s not enough to preach a good message. It has been said, “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” There’s a massive difference between a good preacher and a good pastor. By the grace of God, I intend to be both.

Blessings,

John

In order to put these as neatly and concisely as reasonably possible, we have compiled all of the questions you have submitted onto this one reference post for your viewing benefit. Pastor Craig and I cannot thank you enough for all of the excellent questions submitted! We hope we did a good job answering them to your satisfaction. And always feel free to submit more questions to us via comment to these posts.

• Part 1 – Church and money, gay pride, Bigfoot, going through hard times…
• Part 2 – Heaven, sharing your faith, sex-ed, piercings, tattoos, modesty…
• Part 3 – Dating, spiritual gifts, unbeliever’s prayers, Dinosaurs…
• Part 4 – Spirits/ghosts, exorcism, world religions, homosexuality, Power Rangers…
• Part 5 – Predestination, ADD, “Unforgivable Sin”, Who is God, grace…
• Part 6 – Faith and repentance, Jesus’ death, government, stealing, Heaven…
• Part 7 – Lucifer, Tree of good/evil, Heaven, deathbed confessions, evolution…

Blessings,

John