John Markum

REAL: “Speak Life”

This past week, we wrapped up series “REAL: life meets church” with a message called Speak Life, (Proverbs 18:21, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue…”) in which I shared the story of my teenage friend, Bryce, who literally spoke life into me when I was on the verge of suicide. You can read all about that under my post here. We looked in James 3:1-12 which deals with the potential power that our tongues possess to do good or destruction. We also looked at a few other passages and took some principles away from how we talk to people:

  • Your sin is my business. And my sin is your business. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are to call one another into our potential to be Christ-like. Hebrews 3:12-13
  • Build up, don’t tear down. Whenever we speak to others, even when correcting, we use words of life to build them up not tear them down. Jesus did this even when confronting an adulterous women. He did not condone her sin, but called her out of that lifestyle and into her potential.
  • Don’t be a fool. Proverbs 12:15, “A fool is wise in his own eyes; but the wise receive counsel.” Assume that you can learn something from anyone.
  • Deal with the person. Matthew 18, Christ tells us how to handle conflict with people which begins with “go to them…” Don’t try to deal with a tense situation over facebook! Go to them, or at least call them.
  • Stay out of it. Refuse to listen to someone else tearing another person down. It’s gossip, and you should refuse to receive it or spread it. Period. Don’t give-in to your curiosity at the expense of someone else’s reputation.

You can watch the message here if you want to more. God bless!

John

Speak Life

One of our biggest mantras in our Saturday night service, The Awakening, is “Speak Life”. The thought behind this is that we have opportunities every time we speak to offer words of life, or words that are full of death. When we “speak life” we are bringing people closer to God by offering words of encouragement, healing, and blessing. We are making a positive investment into their soul. When we “speak death” we are saying things that take away from that persons connection to God and giving words of criticism, gossip, and tearing them down. When we do this it’s like making an overdraft in the bank account of their soul. This is not an original idea on our part. It comes straight out of Scripture in Proverbs 18:21, where it says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue…” We try to apply this to everything we do: when we preach, pray, sing, fellowship, work and so on.
I’m not suggesting that we don’t confront people. I’m suggesting that even when we do, we speak life instead of death into that person. When I discipline my children, am I taking the time and patience to speak life over them and call them into their potential out of my love towards them? Or am I yelling and being harsh to my kids out of anger and frustration? It’s all about attitude and motive. Sometimes we don’t just choose between speaking life and speaking death. We choose between speaking life and not speaking at all. And often, not speaking at all is the same thing as speaking death.
The terminology of speaking “life” has special significance for me because of one individual who demonstrated this when I needed it the most in high school. It came from the most unlikely source: a guy in my class who was loud, opinionated, and somehow even goofier than me. His name was Bryce. He was my friend in high school despite attempting to steal my girlfriends on multiple occasions. Despite his lack of tact (or social etiquette regarding his friends’ dates!) the best thing he did in my life happened during a closing shift that we worked together at a Wendy’s Restaurant. I’m not sure if he realized it at the time or not, but as I came into work that night I wanted to die. Literally. I was planning to end my life. The reasons don’t even matter now, only that I was to that point of hurt and desperation. I had reached a place of feeling so utterly useless and worthless that I was convinced that this was what I deserved: that my world would be better without me in it. He saw the look on my face, and the tear-stained cheeks and asked if I was alright. I heard him and responded, but I felt so empty and alone that I don’t even think I was answering him. I just spoke to… the air I guess. I was in my own terrible, painful, unrelenting world of anguish. What I said out-loud was, “I don’t think I’m even worth the air I’m breathing.” His response pulled me out of my world for a moment and literally saved my life. Without hesitation he said, “You are absolutely worth it, man.” Not super profound. But exactly what I needed so desperately to hear in that moment. After the store closed, we got Mountain Dew and Honey Buns (still my favorite snack combo) and sat in his car talking. The week before this, I could have slugged him for flirting with my girlfriend. But on this night, he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I have often wondered where I would be today if he had not spoken life over me… Would I be alive? If so, would I have still ended up in ministry? Where would my wife be today if Bryce had not been there for me? Would my beautiful kids have ever been born? And what of the people I’ve been able to impact since then? How many more suicides would there be if not for Bryce?
Who could you be saving with your words of life? What could be at stake if you held those words back? Or spoke death over people? You may change someone’s life and never even realize it by choosing to speak life.

John

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