John Markum

Nothing Worthwhile…

As long as I’ve been a pastor, and well before that, I’ve held this statement as a core conviction:

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

It’s nothing original, to be sure. But it has guided me through a lot of life’s difficulties. I assume a few things to be generally true about everyone:

  • We all want to matter, to someone and something.
  • We all want to enjoy success.
  • We all want deep, meaningful relationships.
  • We all want some degree of peace, happiness, and pleasure.

The struggles of life often leave us pushing against our aspirations. “Mattering” to anyone or anything is largely out of our direct control. Success is like dopamine – it feels good, we crave more, and only end up chasing the next “hit” that satisfies for a moment, only to leave us with more craving. People and relationships are definitely the best part of life… but unfortunately, they’re also the worst! Nothing can hurt us like other humans. All of the things promising happiness, peace, pleasure all tend to over-sell and under-deliver.

So where does that leave us…

Everything comes at a price. As my Dad would emphatically remind me growing up, there’s no such thing as free. Even the “free” gift of God – salvation to all the human race who believe on the name of Jesus, isn’t truly free – just free to us! Our salvation cost Christ His very life, and the weight of the sin of humanity. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

That tells me that – to God – we were worthwhile. We were worth redeeming. You are worthwhile. The pain you’re going through in life right now, is evidence that there is a battle to be fought and won in your life. I know it’s hard! It’s not suppose to be easy. Not if it matters.

All the struggles I described earlier are not wrong, inherently. You should seek to matter. You should try to make a difference. Success in life, work, school, health, finances is a good thing. Relationships are certainly worthwhile! But they all cost something. They cost time, focus, thought, energy, money, friendships, “other” opportunities, and the list goes on.

And then it gets more difficult! Because you and I are finite human beings. So if I pursue financial or professional success at all cost, I may one day realize that it cost me my marriage. If I pursue building a ministry while neglecting my own spiritual, mental, and emotional health – it may cost me a dark bout with depression. It’s like we only get a certain budget of energy, time, focus, and talent. And once we’ve spent our budget, whatever is left on our list of goals ambitions gets the scraps.

Which leads me to a few questions:

  1. What is the difficult, worthwhile thing you’ve been avoiding doing?
  2. If people are the most worthwhile/difficult thing in life, what relationships do you need to invest more into?
  3. What do you need to let go of that is necessary but still difficult?
  4. Are you willing to pay the price for what you’re seeking to achieve this year?
  5. How would you prioritize your “budget”? Consider marriage, education, friendships, faith, physical health, finances, kids, etc.
  6. How do you keep the harmony between all of these things?

26 Questions for 2023

As 2022 closes out, I once again observe the spectrum of attitudes about another revolution we’ve made around the sun together. They range from optimism and relief of a new year approaching to animosity over the notion to the point of cynicism of change.

The truth is, I love this time of year. It reminds us to take inventory, celebrate where appropriate, and learn where required – if we’re humble and wise enough. You can make your resolutions, yearly goals, or vision boards, but this isn’t intended to be a Pinterest post for ideas of any of those tools. What I do want to offer are the necessary questions I believe we should all consider as we look into the next year, regardless of how you may choose to organize your ambitions.

Consider unpacking these questions, maybe even journaling them out…

General Life Goals…

  • What would I have done in 2022 that I didn’t do?
  • What would I quit if able to in 2023?
  • If all my plans fall apart in this year besides one thing, what would I prioritize?
  • What advice would I give someone else in my exact situation?
  • What are the small pieces I can achieve toward bigger goals?
  • How will I make modest improvement this first week (rather than the year)?
  • What new skill will I commit a minimum of 3 months to develop and evaluate?
  • Who do I want to be in 10 years, and what would it look like to aim for that this year?

Spiritual Growth…

  • What can I trust God with that I shouldn’t be carrying?
  • If I’m not already, which church will I commit to serving and belonging to?
  • What is a single fruit of the Spirit I should focus on more this year?
  • Will I consider fasting at some point this year?
  • How will I be more faithful in my generosity?
  • Who has God put in my life for accountability I should reach out to?
  • Who has God put in my life to share my faith with?
  • Who has God put in my life to disciple/mentor me in my current season?
  • Who has God put in my life for me to disciple/mentor in this current season?

Relationship Goals…

  • (Single) If I want to find a spouse, how will I go about looking?
  • (Single) If I want a spouse, how I be the kind of person that would attract someone I’d like to marry?
  • (Single) If I don’t intend to marry any time soon, who will I do life with to be my best self?
  • (Married) How will I love my spouse as Christ loves the church?
  • (Married) When will I take my spouse on our next date, and where?
  • If I have kids, what do I want to help them achieve in this next season?
  • Who have I not forgiven that I need to forgive?
  • Who do I owe an apology to?
  • What boundaries should I maintain or establish?

Goals we should all set for 2022

I laughed-out-loud at the post a friend made about the upcoming new year: “No one claim 2022 as ‘My Year’! Let’s all agree to just walk in to the year slow, humble, cautious!” If we haven’t learned to slow down a bit and see what the year has in store for us by now, we’re never going to learn. Here are a few thoughts and goals I believe we should (and can) all set for ourselves for 2022…

  • Rest more. Slow down, breath, use your vacation time, take a sick day (mental health counts!), praying and meditating more… in fact, just practice sitting silently in God’s presence listening for a change would be great. Do something that actually brings rest to your soul even if it’s still technically an activity – like working out, reading, catching up with friends. We’ve been so drained in so many ways these past two years, but we still need to learn how to gain rest for our souls.
  • Learn a new skill. Rest isn’t always stationary. Last year I began the journey of learning new skills that could help me in the job market. I gobbled up several classes online for a nominal cost and earned some IT certifications in the process. There are several platforms, but I’ve grown to prefer Udemy as a fantastic site/app to learn practically any new skill or even hobby (like professional photography on your iPhone!). I learned so much and enjoyed the content I was taking so much that I began sponsoring their service as an affiliate. Click here to explore course on Udemy that might interest you.
  • See people in person. It’s been two years of quarantining. Vaccinated people outnumber unvaccinated people roughly 2:1 in California. In many ways, our emotional, mental, and relational health have suffered far worse than our physical well-being. While we still have some social distancing protocols in many places, and new variants are seemingly always going to be a concern, we must return to increasingly consistent social contact. If you’re nervous, just start small, but please start somewhere. You need people, and frankly people need you. Even with all our social media, we are in enormous need of real social interactions. Get in a church this year (or back to church). Go back to your gym, form a book club, birthday parties, etc. Heck… get some friends and fly to Hawaii!
  • Exercise gratitude. I’ve worked on journaling more lately and intend to do this a lot more in 2022. My wife recently got a three year journal for me (which you can find on Amazon here). It’s good to review where I’ve come from, and how God’s answered my past prayers. The three year component, makes it so that each following year I can see where I was that day and it actively reminds me of how God has worked in my life since then.
  • Take the easy wins. There’s some low-hanging fruit you can grab. Take whatever counts as an easy win. Make your bed, put your running shoes on, lay your clothes out for the next day, set the coffee pot to begin when you when you want to get up, etc. Have I ever talked about how good it feels to mark anything off a to-do list (Ooooh, the dopamine!)?! We overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in a day. Big change is the result of consistent, little actions. So knock out your resume, update your LinkedIn profile, read one verse in the Bible appjust start with an easy win!
  • See how people are actually doing. I hope this next year doesn’t just become a year of us learning to pay attention to our well-being more, but also that of others. We’ve got to start looking up more, seeking eye contact, and asking each other how we’re really doing. Begin with your immediate circle, but let’s expand to start noticing strangers. When we all begin to see each other, we eventually begin to get seen more as well.
  • Be more generous. When Tiff and I started a family, one piece of advice we were told is that if we waiting until we were “ready” to have kids, we would never do it. The same is true with generosity. We have so many noble goals, like buying a home, starting a business, and actually taking that vacay… all of which are good and we should do. But I sincerely believe that God reward us when we give of ourselves. And if we wait until we’re ready, we’ll never do it. I pray that 2022 becomes a year of unprecedented generosity for all of us – both in regards to our time and treasure. It’s been too easy to hide from volunteering and excuse a lack of generosity these past couple years. But 2022 could stand to be marked by a new commitment to giving of ourselves in such a way that we actually find ourselves in the process.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments! What are some simple, reasonable goals you’ve been thinking of for 2022? Which of the goals that I mentioned are you going to take action on? What did I miss that you would add?

Blessings,
Pastor John

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