Living – Page 27 – John Markum

Why you shouldn’t commit suicide

Posted on February 22, 2011 by johnmarkum

I recently preached at one of our services at Edgewood where I shared with our church that I was once on the brink of taking my life. God brought me through some intense and painful moments in my life to allow me to speak life into someone else who may be considering following through with the last and worst decision of their life. I acknowledge that, statistically, many of my readers here on the blog either have considered or attempted suicide, or have been affected by it through someone close to them who has. If that’s you or someone close to you, I want to give you 4 reasons to put down your selected instrument of death and never go back to that thought again:

It’s Selfish: Suicide is easily the most selfish thing that you can do. If you take your own life, you are saying to the world that you care more about the way you feel right now than how you are going to make everyone you know feel for the rest of their lives. Perhaps you even want to make some of them hurt, but consider all of the collateral damage you would cause. For the rest of their lives these people will have to hurt at the thought of what you did – your parents, siblings, friends, classmates, coworkers, girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, children, church, youth group, pastor, etc…
It’s Permanent: Unlike most of the actual reasons people commit suicide, this is not fixable. It can’t be undone. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Whatever you’re going through right now that is causing you to consider ending it all, there are alternatives to escaping this. Perhaps you’re stuck in an abusive situation… then get out. Go anywhere else. Heck! Hitch-hike to Canada before you just quit! Perhaps you’re experiencing a profound loss. The pain does wear off. New relationships bring comfort and healing. Maybe you were broken up with, or divorced, or abandoned, or lost someone close to you to death. My heart genuinely goes out to you. But just because this is the end of a part of your life, does not mean it is the end of your entire life.
It’s Faithless: God’s faithfulness is the most consistent theme throughout the entire Bible. Not that bad stuff didn’t happen. But God proves His faithfulness even in life’s darkest hours. The Psalmist once wrote, “I wait for You more than they who wait for the morning.” What he means is,“God, I am so sure that You will come through for me that I have even more confidence in You showing up, than the watchmen who are waiting for morning light to show up.” Faith in these moment looks like this – God, this hurts right now, and I want out so bad. But I know that somehow, this is not where my story ends. And since You haven’t called me home to You yet, I will wait and see how You show up in the middle of this current anguish.
You’ll Miss Out: I was 18 when I almost took my life. If I had ended it all there, I would have missed out on the following: 4 amazing, life-transforming years of college – building several friendships that would last a lifetime – meeting and marrying the most beautiful, compassionate woman in the world – seeing God show up in miraculous ways – raising 3 (almost 4) incredible kids – finding a loving, empowering church family – playing catch with my little boy – dancing with my little “princesses” in the living room – having tickle parties with my kids – watching my kids give their lives to Christ – seeing them fall in love – walking my girls down the aisle – growing old with my wife – helping countless dozens who have almost taken their lives. Don’t you get it?!? Every great story has moments of doubt, confusion, trial, hopelessness, and darkness. Don’t quit before you get to see your story finish the right way with victory and overcoming the odds.

Don’t put a period in your life, where God has only put a comma. You are worth it. Your story is going to be empowering to someone else. Your greatest moments are still ahead. Pain doesn’t have to just hurt. Make it through this! Trust me! It IS worth it… I would know.

Blessings,

John

My advice for single people (Steven Furtick)

Posted on February 21, 2011 by johnmarkum

This is a re-post from pastor and author, Steven Furtick. It was so good and timely to singles today, that I had to share it with you. You can follow his blog at stevenfurtick.com

There’s a lot of advice I could give to single and dating people.

How to be content in this season you’re in.
The kind of person you should be looking to marry.
Boundaries for when you’re dating.

All of those are good and necessary. But there’s something that most Christians completely miss that’s an essential principle for optimal relationships and marriages. If you don’t get this, it doesn’t matter who you date because it will be a fraction of the relationship God meant for you. And your marriage to them will be too.

Happiness is not finding the right person. It’s being the right person.

I’ve seen countless Christians sabotage their marriages not because they married the wrong person but because when they got married they weren’t the right person for the other person. Not in their chemistry, but in their character.

If two half people get together and they’re not complete in Christ, they don’t make a whole person. They subtract from each other rather than adding to each other and they become more miserable.

There’s only one half you’re responsible for right now. And that’s your half.

Stop looking for the person of your dreams and start becoming someone another person is dreaming about. Make someone else’s dreams become a reality.

A lot of single people make lists of what they want in the person they’re looking for. That’s fine. Just make sure that if the person you’re looking for had the same list, they’d find you.

You may be waiting in this season of your life for God to bring the right person.
Or you may be wondering if the person you’re dating is the right person.

He will do it.
He will reveal it.

In the meantime, be what you’re looking for.

Minute to Lose it

Posted on February 4, 2011 by johnmarkum

I watched a very exciting episode of the new game show, Minute to Win It, with my wife the other day. It’s a very creative idea for a TV show and seems to be very family oriented: a breath of fresh air in such a value-deficient media. And who said only bad news sales?!

But as I got thinking about the concept, I began thinking of things that take a considerably longer time to earn, yet could be ruined in a brief moment of poor judgement. Doubtlessly, you can think of others to add to this list:

A good marriage. Takes half a lifetime to get right. Easily ruined in a variety of ways, and in less time than it takes to say “I did.”
Respect. You can work your whole life to develop the respect of your peers, children, spouse, and co-workers. One whoops can ruin a thousand at-a-boy‘s.
Health. Probably the first on the list that can be lost innocently. You can workout, lift weights, do routine cardio-aerobics, etc… One bad hit during a pick-up game and your limping for weeks (or longer).
Sobriety. From any substance. As Mark Twain once said, “Breaking the smoking habit is easy… I’ve done it hundreds of times.” You haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in years, and one tough day can push you to urges you haven’t given in to for a long time.
Purity. Once you cross those lines, you can’t uncross them. Losing something so precious and valuable to someone who has no intentions of committing to you is why God insists that sexuality be reserved for the safety of marriage. Plus, it saves you from a very uncomfortable conversation with the person you will marry.
Friendships. Some develop faster than others, but the best ones are always those that are forged by time. Good friendships are all too often torn apart by one act of betrayal, gossip, or selfishness.

Did you notice? None of these things are worth any amount of money. You would likely be very willing to empty every bank account you possess in order to keep the things on this list or in order to get them back. Don’t trade your most valuable possessions for something that is temporary and worth far less!

Blessings,

John