John Markum

Things MEN Do

REAL MEN

This is for every man out there who needs a reminder of who they were created to be. No two men are the same, but we do have a common birthright as brothers. Some of these things are lost or forgotten on some level. I say it’s time we got took them back. Here are six things I think are true of every real man I’ve ever known.

1. Men don’t face each day – we attack it. No more lazy entitlement for what we’ve done in the past. Each day is a new opportunity to make an impact. There’s work to do and real men don’t play the “victim” card for having to do it.
2. Respect women. I want to punch a dude every time I see/hear him putting a women down. Especially his own wife. Man up, bro! And God help you if you hit a woman in my presence. I’m just saying… you’ve been warned, hombre. “Oh my! That’s violent!” No… that’s a man.
3. Take responsibility. It’s easy to wait for someone else to take initiative. Real men don’t stand around waiting for “someone” to do “something.” We see what needs to be done and become part of the solution. Anyone can be a critic on the sideline – it requires no honor. It takes guts to to make a difference, however.
4. Apologize. Yeah, that’s right. A real man can admit when he’s wrong. And he can verbalized it. And then do better.
5. Makes other men better. I love seeing men call other men into their God-given potential. Especially when it’s an older man to a younger man. But even between peers, it’s a powerful experience to see and be part of “iron sharpening iron.”
6. Keep their word. As best as they know how, real men do what they say they’re going to do. If they say they’ll do it, you can take that promise to the bank. They know that you can’t make excuses and progress at they same time.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means. But you have to start with these things, in my observations. And yes, eating meat, fixing things, and knowing how to throw a football help prove your manliness. But make you a man, they do not.

Blessings,
Pastor John

(That last line sounded kinda like Yoda, didn’t it? Hmm… Perhaps mentioning something about knowing Star Wars trivia, I should have…)

“The VIRGIN Bachelor”

virgin

That’s what the magazine read on my way through the checkout line at WalMart (yes, WalMart, don’t judge me). Not that I’m racing home to catch Sean Lowe picking through two dozen plus women on national television for The Bachelor, but it’s hard to miss all of the buzz as the season is apparently winding down. The cliff notes of the buzz stirring lately seem to be that Sean, “a devote Christian” has been saving himself for marriage, sexually speaking – something difficult to maintain as a contestant of the show, from what I understand.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that The Bachelor is a suitable show, nor am I advocating getting emotionally (or physically) entangled with multiple people for the sake of millions of viewers’ entertainment. I also am not verifying that this season’s Bachelor is a role-model Christian. I don’t know the guy! However, if he has indeed committed to saving his sexuality for marriage, I certainly support such a commitment.

The rub for me, is that many of the news articles I’ve seen are treating Sean as if he has some disability for being an attractive man in his 20’s that is not sleeping with any number of the potentially willing women on his show. Apparently, now engaged to one of the “contestants,” he still insists on waiting until their wedding to have sex.

I’m tired of the way the media, internet, and movies try to brainwash our culture about our own sexuality. To the point that a man who appears physically healthy is criticized for valuing himself enough to save his sexuality for a commitment (a.k.a. marriage) where it can be freely expressed with a trusted person (a.k.a. his wife). If he isn’t “doing it” there must be a reason, right? Because “normal” people don’t wait until marriage for sex… right?!

Listen up men…

  • Having sex does not make you a “real man”.
  • Choosing to delay your own gratification makes you wise, not weird.
  • Having sex with virtually every willing female does not make you a man – dogs do that.
  • Real men commit to keeping their God-given sexuality for their wife alone.
  • Sex before marriage ruins good relationships and prolongs bad ones. I haven’t seen an exception yet.
  • If you’ve made some mistakes in the past, you can be different from this point forward – your past does not have to define you.

Assuming this season’s Bachelor and his fiance do maintain their sexual boundaries, I am very confident that it will all work out on their wedding night. For all the talk of the need for “sexual compatibility,” our culture forgets that their talking about people, not used cars. I know far more people who slept around that regret it, than those who saved themselves and wished they had not.

Be unique. Save your sex… And find something better than The Bachelor to watch, too! Gees, people…

Blessings,
Pastor John

7 Valentine Ideas for Men

If you’re a dude, you know that you can’t neglect to do “something” for your wife for Valentine’s day. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut and not be sure what to do. Here are a few ideas to get you thinking in the right direction. By all means, adapt as necessary to woo your woman’s heart…

  1. Come home early. There’s hardly a worse way to begin a night of romancing your wife like trying to hurry her out the door so that you don’t miss a reservation. Take your time.
  2. Flowers. Simple. Easy. And (almost) every woman loves them.
  3. Dinner. Either somewhere decent, or home cooked, but only if you have more in your cooking repertoire past grilling meat.
  4. Dress nicer. Please tell me you have at least one good button-down collar shirt? Tie not required. You’re dating your wife, not taking her back to the wedding altar.
  5. Personal touch. Do at least one thing that is special and unique to the two of you. This shows that you actually planned something. This could be in the form of a gift.
  6. Talk! Don’t go to a movie or anywhere that you are expected to sit quietly. Instead, go for a walk somewhere decent where you can connect.
  7. Memories. Bring up a favorite time the two of you had together, and tell her why you liked that time. Use details.

Be a real man: romance your wife.

Blessings,

John

The phrase no pain, no gain has been a mantra for athletes and fitness junkies for years. And what they understand about physical pain needs to be broadened to a much more general use in all of our lives. Pain hurts. That's the whole problem. No one enjoys it, and if someone does, we rightfully

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