death – Page 2 – John Markum

Why you shouldn’t commit suicide

Posted on February 22, 2011 by johnmarkum

I recently preached at one of our services at Edgewood where I shared with our church that I was once on the brink of taking my life. God brought me through some intense and painful moments in my life to allow me to speak life into someone else who may be considering following through with the last and worst decision of their life. I acknowledge that, statistically, many of my readers here on the blog either have considered or attempted suicide, or have been affected by it through someone close to them who has. If that’s you or someone close to you, I want to give you 4 reasons to put down your selected instrument of death and never go back to that thought again:

It’s Selfish: Suicide is easily the most selfish thing that you can do. If you take your own life, you are saying to the world that you care more about the way you feel right now than how you are going to make everyone you know feel for the rest of their lives. Perhaps you even want to make some of them hurt, but consider all of the collateral damage you would cause. For the rest of their lives these people will have to hurt at the thought of what you did – your parents, siblings, friends, classmates, coworkers, girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, children, church, youth group, pastor, etc…
It’s Permanent: Unlike most of the actual reasons people commit suicide, this is not fixable. It can’t be undone. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Whatever you’re going through right now that is causing you to consider ending it all, there are alternatives to escaping this. Perhaps you’re stuck in an abusive situation… then get out. Go anywhere else. Heck! Hitch-hike to Canada before you just quit! Perhaps you’re experiencing a profound loss. The pain does wear off. New relationships bring comfort and healing. Maybe you were broken up with, or divorced, or abandoned, or lost someone close to you to death. My heart genuinely goes out to you. But just because this is the end of a part of your life, does not mean it is the end of your entire life.
It’s Faithless: God’s faithfulness is the most consistent theme throughout the entire Bible. Not that bad stuff didn’t happen. But God proves His faithfulness even in life’s darkest hours. The Psalmist once wrote, “I wait for You more than they who wait for the morning.” What he means is,“God, I am so sure that You will come through for me that I have even more confidence in You showing up, than the watchmen who are waiting for morning light to show up.” Faith in these moment looks like this – God, this hurts right now, and I want out so bad. But I know that somehow, this is not where my story ends. And since You haven’t called me home to You yet, I will wait and see how You show up in the middle of this current anguish.
You’ll Miss Out: I was 18 when I almost took my life. If I had ended it all there, I would have missed out on the following: 4 amazing, life-transforming years of college – building several friendships that would last a lifetime – meeting and marrying the most beautiful, compassionate woman in the world – seeing God show up in miraculous ways – raising 3 (almost 4) incredible kids – finding a loving, empowering church family – playing catch with my little boy – dancing with my little “princesses” in the living room – having tickle parties with my kids – watching my kids give their lives to Christ – seeing them fall in love – walking my girls down the aisle – growing old with my wife – helping countless dozens who have almost taken their lives. Don’t you get it?!? Every great story has moments of doubt, confusion, trial, hopelessness, and darkness. Don’t quit before you get to see your story finish the right way with victory and overcoming the odds.

Don’t put a period in your life, where God has only put a comma. You are worth it. Your story is going to be empowering to someone else. Your greatest moments are still ahead. Pain doesn’t have to just hurt. Make it through this! Trust me! It IS worth it… I would know.

Blessings,

John

Unplanned Day Off

Posted on February 4, 2011 by johnmarkum

This week in the Quad Cities, almost everyone was graciously given a free day off of work, school, etc. courtesy of the snow. But for myself, many of our readers, and perhaps yourself, taking an extra day off just puts you behind. And some things must get done every week regardless of what the weather did, who got sick, or what kind of family crisis broke out. I couldn’t show up this Saturday for The Awakening and apologize for not having a message to preach since I couldn’t get into my office because of the snow. That’s just not good enough, and chances are that you have your own high demands that don’t take vacation days, sick days, or snow days. So to stay on target, you and I must have a plan for these unplanned days off. Most likely, your plan will consist of answering a few of the following questions:

What can I do from home? Obviously this depends on your resources since you’re not in your typical work place. You also have to manage distractions, and the fact that you should take some of the time to recuperate (especially if your unplanned day off is because you’re sick).
What can wait? Maybe some things can get postponed this week.
When can I make it up? Perhaps you go in early the next day. Or stay late. Or both.
Where can I cram? Maybe you take 2 hours preparing a certain report. This week you can get it done in 1 hour. Maybe not your most careful work, but it will pass this week.
What can I delegate? Your friend covers your shift this week and you get him back next time.
What can get skipped? Some things may be possible and necessary to skip altogether. If that’s the case though, you kind of have to ask, “Why do I do this any week?!?”

Hope you had a fun snow day and that no one got hurt out on the roads.

Blessings,

John

Speak Life

Posted on October 21, 2010 by johnmarkum

One of our biggest mantras in our Saturday night service, The Awakening, is “Speak Life”. The thought behind this is that we have opportunities every time we speak to offer words of life, or words that are full of death. When we “speak life” we are bringing people closer to God by offering words of encouragement, healing, and blessing. We are making a positive investment into their soul. When we “speak death” we are saying things that take away from that persons connection to God and giving words of criticism, gossip, and tearing them down. When we do this it’s like making an overdraft in the bank account of their soul. This is not an original idea on our part. It comes straight out of Scripture in Proverbs 18:21, where it says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue…” We try to apply this to everything we do: when we preach, pray, sing, fellowship, work and so on.
I’m not suggesting that we don’t confront people. I’m suggesting that even when we do, we speak life instead of death into that person. When I discipline my children, am I taking the time and patience to speak life over them and call them into their potential out of my love towards them? Or am I yelling and being harsh to my kids out of anger and frustration? It’s all about attitude and motive. Sometimes we don’t just choose between speaking life and speaking death. We choose between speaking life and not speaking at all. And often, not speaking at all is the same thing as speaking death.
The terminology of speaking “life” has special significance for me because of one individual who demonstrated this when I needed it the most in high school. It came from the most unlikely source: a guy in my class who was loud, opinionated, and somehow even goofier than me. His name was Bryce. He was my friend in high school despite attempting to steal my girlfriends on multiple occasions. Despite his lack of tact (or social etiquette regarding his friends’ dates!) the best thing he did in my life happened during a closing shift that we worked together at a Wendy’s Restaurant. I’m not sure if he realized it at the time or not, but as I came into work that night I wanted to die. Literally. I was planning to end my life. The reasons don’t even matter now, only that I was to that point of hurt and desperation. I had reached a place of feeling so utterly useless and worthless that I was convinced that this was what I deserved: that my world would be better without me in it. He saw the look on my face, and the tear-stained cheeks and asked if I was alright. I heard him and responded, but I felt so empty and alone that I don’t even think I was answering him. I just spoke to… the air I guess. I was in my own terrible, painful, unrelenting world of anguish. What I said out-loud was, “I don’t think I’m even worth the air I’m breathing.” His response pulled me out of my world for a moment and literally saved my life. Without hesitation he said, “You are absolutely worth it, man.” Not super profound. But exactly what I needed so desperately to hear in that moment. After the store closed, we got Mountain Dew and Honey Buns (still my favorite snack combo) and sat in his car talking. The week before this, I could have slugged him for flirting with my girlfriend. But on this night, he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I have often wondered where I would be today if he had not spoken life over me… Would I be alive? If so, would I have still ended up in ministry? Where would my wife be today if Bryce had not been there for me? Would my beautiful kids have ever been born? And what of the people I’ve been able to impact since then? How many more suicides would there be if not for Bryce?
Who could you be saving with your words of life? What could be at stake if you held those words back? Or spoke death over people? You may change someone’s life and never even realize it by choosing to speak life.