kid – John Markum

Brain-Wash your Kids

Posted on January 5, 2012 by johnmarkum

I’ve heard many people that I’ve met in person and online who have railed against “religious” people in church who brain-wash their kids to believe the same things. I’ve heard it in movies, sitcoms, the news, and even billboards. Some have declared that my children should get to choose whether they believe what I believe for themselves and I should not try to influence them otherwise.

As a parent, here’s the truth…

Your kids are being influenced. By their friends, musicians, advertisements, facebook, major corporations, the government, and Lady Gaga. All of whom have an agenda. I trust my beliefs and values a million times over any of the above influences. And honestly, I trust your instincts to the same degree when it comes to your children.
Parents make decisions for their kids. My kids go to school, eat vegetables, answer adults with respect, go to church, take baths, and get shots from the doctor. We taught them to do those things. We make them do those things. Because we know what’s best for them more than they do. My kids may not always like school, but I hope that one day, they’ll appreciate the value of their education. The same is true of church and spiritual values (although, my kids love church).
You can’t teach what you don’t live. Just because you tell your kids that God, faith, community, and church are important doesn’t mean that you’ve taught them so. You teach what you do, not what you say. What are your actions teaching your kids? Does it tell them that God has control of your life? or your friends? or your job? or the NFL season schedule?

I am completely convinced that you as a parent are perfectly equipped by God to raise your children better than anyone else (especially the media). If someone says you’re brain-washing your child, than at least they’ll have a cleaner mind than if you didn’t.

Blessings,

John

See my post on 5 Ways to Make your Kids Hate Church, for more.

“Stop and Look at Me!”

Posted on October 28, 2011 by johnmarkum

Kids, man… I’ve got FOUR!!! And I love the heck out of each of them. But they can also be a handful! There are times when my kids are playing in the house and running around after each other, making noise, and causing general chaos. I’ll sometimes try to speak over the situation with some kind of instruction, like:

“Hey, no running in the house!”
“Don’t you dare throw that at her!”
And my favorite… “BE QUIET!”

Eventually the chaos is more than I can stand and I have to get very direct. I’ll grab one of my children and pull them away from their ruckus, and demand their undivided attention. But even as I am calmly attempting to give them a very clear, direct command to behave the right way, they sometimes will try to pull away from me, eyes pointing back toward their favorite distractions. It’s then that I demand them to “Stop and look at me!” Sometimes I’ll say, “Give me your eyes!” I know that until they pull their mind away from their chaos, they’ll never really hear what I’m trying to tell them.
Is it possible that you and I miss out on what God is trying to tell us because we are so busy with our grown-up chaos? When is the last time you felt God saying, “Stop and look at Me!”
I confess that sometimes my prayers consist of little more than a quick shout-out to God as I’m racing from this meeting to that function, and back to my office before the next function. That’s like my kids running around, doing their thing and giving me a “uh huh, yeah, ok Dad. Whatever you say…” kind of response. They didn’t hear me. And they’re probably not going to act on what I told them. Their eyes give it away. When they’re not listening to me, they’re usually looking away at what they would rather be doing other than talk to me. And God knows that until He “gets our eyes” He doesn’t really have our attention either.

When is the last time that you got out of your chaotic schedule, slowed down, and gave God your undivided attention? If you do have a regular habit of quiet time and prayer, how easily distracted do you get by the demands of your life? What will it take for you to “give God your eyes”? What are the things that you’re often looking at that pull your attention away from stopping and looking at God for a few minutes each day? A cell phone? Computer screen? TV?
Slow down your day for 15 minutes, preferably before the chaos really begins, and quiet yourself, tell God you’re listening, and give Him your “eyes.” You’ll feel closer to Him throughout the day, you’ll likely be a lot less stressed, and you’ll give God priority above all your other pressing demands.

Blessings,

John

Jump!

Posted on August 17, 2011 by johnmarkum

Tiffany and I are now the parents of a kindergartener! It seems unreal… when did I get this old?!

Anyway, we had our kids at the pool here recently and were having a lot of fun with the kids. Emilee, who is now 5 and learning to swim was doing good. Until, of course, I had the genius idea to get her to jump into the pool to me. She was terrified of it. All of my persuasive powers were useless against her… until she saw her little sister do it!
Finally I coax her to the edge and she counts to 3 (for the hundredth time!) and actually jumps to me! And, just as I predicted, she loved it. So she gets back out of the pool, but will she do it again? Nooooo! Even though she had so much fun, even though she sees her little sister do it, even though daddy caught her, each time it’s like pulling teeth to get her to trust me enough for her to jump.

But often I’m no better… God tells me to trust Him, step out on faith, and watch Him work. And even though He has never missed catching me, each time difficult circumstances arise, requiring me to trust God, I can be even more difficult than getting my little girl to jump into the pool to me.

And as frustrated as I can get at her as her parent, I wonder, “Does God ever feel the same way? What would God say to me when I stress out over things I can’t control?” I imagine it might be something like…

Trust Me! JUMP!
I caught you last time didn’t I?
Have I ever let you drown?!?
It’ll be so exciting to leave the ledge of your safety and see what I can do when you trust Me!
I’m serious! JUMP, BOY!

And it’s particularly interesting how Emilee insists on jumping to me in the shallow end. As though she can touch the bottom on either side! The truth is, it doesn’t matter how much water is below me, if I’m within reach. Because I love my kid so much that I’d never put her in a situation that I couldn’t get her through.

And it doesn’t matter how “deep” this situation is over the last time. Our God has promised to “never leave you, nor forsake you.” Whatever is at stake, He’s in control, and capable of bringing you through it… just like He did last time… just like He’ll do every time.

Go ahead… Jump!

Blessings,

John