kid – Page 2 – John Markum

Bizarre Memories from my Childhood…

Posted on August 7, 2011 by johnmarkum

I saw a facebook post by one of my friends that made me remember some mildly suppressed details from my growing-up years. So here are some bizarre facts that I recalled today. Parents out there, this is descriptive not prescriptive. I do not suggest your kid do most of these things. Mom and Dad, none of this is intended to incriminate you!

Driving with Dad: Long before Brittney Spears was making headlines for doing it, my father had me in his lap in the driver’s seat of the car steering it down the road. Every 7 year old today would be jealous!
Helmet-less Bike Riding: You would think we were really living on the edge by today’s standards.
Catching/Killing Snakes: I was blessed to grow up, in part, among the well forested hills of Georgia. My Dad was an Army Ranger. So my friends and I would often go off in the woods to scout the “enemy base,” devise attack plans, and come back with their snake minions as hostages. G.I. Joe was popular then too, so “King Cobra” may have had some influence on the obsession with killing snakes.
Riding in the back of a pickup: I know it’s not that safe, but man was it fun! I’m pretty sure it’s still legal to do this in at least 10 states; all of which are below the Mason-Dixon line.
Using your Fists: Ok, look… I was not some kind of big brawling bully! But both my parents taught me that there were times that physical force was required. Real men don’t walk away from every fight. We just don’t fight over the wrong stuff. I actually got in trouble once for running away from a kid that said he was going to hit me. My father taught me to avoid fights when I could, but to stand up for myself when I couldn’t. I only had to use what he taught me on a handful of occasions. Well, then there was junior high, but… nevermind…
Drinking from Garden Hoses: I only find this so peculiar now because of the overwhelming popularity of bottled water and home water purifying systems today. By contrast, it’s really funny to me!
Chicken Pox: I distinctly remember getting chicken pox as a 4 year old. Now, kids get vaccinated at 4 weeks old. Lucky!

All that, and my generation still survived! So it wasn’t “5 miles, uphill, through the snow, both ways” kind of stuff, but still! My grandkids will think I’m older than Moses when I tell them these things and more. But by then, I’ll get to drive a space ship around on auto pilot anyway. So who cares! And Mom and Dad… As far as I’m concerned, these things made you GREAT parents anyway! Thanks for not smothering me (too much) as a kid!

Blessings,

John

My kids say, “Yes sir”

Posted on July 8, 2011 by johnmarkum

I’ve heard it all…

That’s old fashioned.
You were raised in the South, weren’t you?
Were you in the military or something?
etc…

Recently, Tiffany and I have been cracking down on our girls answering us with a “yes sir” or “yes ma’am” when we call them to come to us or when we tell them to do something. Some think that is kind of outdated, but there has definitely been a notable change. Emilee’s attitude has improved 200% in the last 3 weeks. Kali has been playing nicer with everyone. And the two of them have taken initiative with cleaning their rooms, helping set the table, and much more.

Here’s what we’ve noticed: There is a direct connection between honor and obedience. So when I teach my kids how to honor their parents, somehow they simultaneous learn that honor is more than just giving the right answer when told to do something.

And just in case you were wondering, yes, I do say “yes ma’am” to Tiffany and to our girls. And I say “yes sir” to my 2 year old son. I want my girls to know how to be treated by a boy, and I want my little man to one day be a man of honor. So I speak life into them now.

It’s not a southern culture or a military culture. It’s a culture of honor. And the benefits of teaching our kids about honor are multi-dimensional.

Create a culture of honor and respect in your home. You won’t regret it.

“Give to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.” Romans 13:7

Blessings,

John

5 Ways to Make your Kids Hate Church

Posted on June 3, 2011 by johnmarkum

I have served in full-time ministry for over 6 years now. I’ve been a children’s pastor at one church, and the college pastor at Edgewood and leading pastor for our Saturday night service. Having seen kids growing up in church as well as the aftermath of kids who have grown up in church, here are a few ways to make sure your kids will one day hate church as adults, if not sooner…

Give them a choice. Yeah, yeah, I know. Your kids should want to go to church on their own. But do you give them the choice to go to school or not? NO?! You make them go whether they feel like it or not?!? How dare you force your educational values on those poor kids! Of course I’m simply making a point here. You are suppose to parent your kids. If you hope they will want to go to church as young adults you will have to make them go now. You have to lead them to good behaviors, not simply expect them to decide it on their own.
Bad-mouth the preacher. If you don’t honor the pastors and leaders of your church, why should your kids? They will pick up your attitudes.
Be a hypocrite. My generation is full of adults who grew up out of “good Christian homes” and everyone is stunned at why they left church at 19 and never looked back. For many of them, the reason is that the people their parents were at church was different fro the people they were at home. Be two-faced and you’re sure to run your kids far from a place where they feel like everyone there is a liar.
Christian school. Here me out… I came from a Christian school. I loved my Christian school. But a good Christian school will never compensate for poor parenting. As a former children’s pastor, my wife and I observed kids who were sent to public schools, Christian schools, private non-Christian schools, and home schooled. While there were some distinguishing characteristics, no particular schooling produced kids who were better behaved, more spiritually inclined, or intellectually superior. What we did notice, however, was that the kids who made good choices, were spiritually growing, and had good grades all had parents who were training their children to be that way. Some of the most impressive young people I’ve ever met had only been in public schools. Conversely, some of the most rebellious I’ve known had always been in Christian schools. You still have to be the parent.
Be inconsistent. Nothing says, “this isn’t that important” to a kid like being a CEO church attender (Christmas and Easter Only). My kids never question attending church on Easter and Christmas. Why? Because they’ve attended every weekend for the past year, not just last Easter. It’s part of who we are as a family. And not just because I’m a pastor. My home growing up was the same way. And my Dad was in the Army. We moved every 3 years. But we always found a new church home and stayed connected to it. And we never left that church until my Dad got relocated by Uncle Sam. Your kids will determine what you believe by what you do. Don’t tell your kids that God, faith, and church are important and then attend church once a month or twice a year. Your actions have already told them differently.

You are the best person to teach your children spiritual morals and life values. Don’t you dare back away or chicken-out on the holy anointing God has called you to as a parent! You and I are in the best position to raise a generation of godly men and women. As parents.

Blessings,

John