John Markum

The High 5 for Hubands

“Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her… for a man who shows love for his wife, actually loves himself.” Ephesians 5 :25,28

The idea of the husband “loving” his wife here in Ephesians 5, is the idea “to cherish.” In other words, to make safe; worth protecting; to treat as precious. This means that she can allow herself to be vulnerable because she is safe with you.

Husbands, if you want a happy marriage, you must make your wife feel cherished in the following 5 areas. Wives, don’t be afraid to point your man to this post:

  1. Physically: This one’s simple. Bottom line, she doesn’t have to be afraid that you’ll physically hurt her. This also includes providing a safe home, keeping “bad guys” away from your family, and getting up to chase odd “noises” out of the house at all hours of the night.
  2. Emotionally: This is most often displayed best during a disagreement by what you say and don’t say, and how you say it. If you resort to verbally attacking your wife during an argument, she will not feel emotionally safe around you. But if you can find a way to speak life into her even though you’re upset, then you can actually gain from an argument, instead of simply enduring it.
  3. Financially: Dude, you don’t have to make all the money in the house (although you could…). You don’t even have to make most of the money. Honestly, if you’re wife is some mega-millionaire author, I don’t even care if you work outside the home at all. But you are still responsible for making sure the financial needs of your family are met. You don’t have to make excessive amounts of revenue, but you must make her feel safe, financially.
  4. Sexually: Sex is more than a physical interaction between a husband and wife. It is emotional and, I believe, even spiritual. Many women feel the most vulnerable in this area, and her husband must make her feel loved, cherished, precious, and worth protecting. Men, be very careful about criticizing your wife’s body or giving her a litany of the things about her physically that you wish were different. Choose to see her as the most beautiful women in your world. True love isn’t blind. It just wears blinders.
  5. Spiritually: In too many homes, the wife is the one nagging everyone on the weekend to get ready for church. I’m just going to say it: Husbands, stand up and be a man. Take leadership in your home. YOU be the agent of spiritual growth for your family. Don’t make your wife have to take those reigns. Pray with your wife. Talk to her about spiritual things. If she knows more than you, it’s ok. Ask her questions. Initiate spiritual leadership in your home.

All these things are intertwined. They are connected and one affects another. This may seem like an over-simplification of how a husband should treat his wife, but if every husband (myself included) became masters at loving their wives in these 5 ways, we would all likely have better marriages.

Blessings,

John

Honor the Sabbath

In Exodus 20, God commands the people of Israel to “Honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy.” Ever since, there has been confusion as to what exactly He meant by that.

First of all, the word holy simply means “set apart.” And God even tells us in Exodus 20:11 the exact reason for telling us to “set apart” one day per week:

“For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day He rested. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy.”

Bottom line: Don’t try to out work God. Take time to slow down, recharge, and focus on the important things. Like God, family, health, and your sanity.

By the time you get to the New Testament, the religious leaders of Jesus time had created hundreds of laws regarding how to “Honor the Sabbath.” When they find Jesus doing everything from healing the sick and getting food on the Sabbath day, they totally lose it! Jesus points out that any of them would pull their ox out of a ditch on the Sabbath, but they cry foul when Jesus healed a cripple man. How does that make sense?

In our crazy-paced, American, consumerism mentality, it is so easy for us to use busyness as an excuse for everything:

  • Sorry I didn’t make it to your wedding. I had to work.
  • Sorry I was late for work. I had a doctors appointment.
  • Sorry I was late for my appointment. My babysitter took forever to get there.
  • Sorry I need you to watch my kids early, I have a bunch of errands to run.

I’ve heard the full gambit of reasons that people put God on hold. But God doesn’t just want you to make time with Him a priority. He wants you to make time for yourself.

Do you have a regular, weekly day to escape the crazy break-neck pace of life? If not, how long do you expect to make it at this pace? Even if it doesn’t kill you, how much are you actually enjoying life, and all the gifts of God has given you to slow down and enjoy from time to time?

“Man was not made for the Sabbath day, but the Sabbath day for man.” – Jesus (Mark 2:27)

Take one day a week even if it’s not Saturday. Slow down. Appreciate what you’ve accomplished in the past week. Prepare yourself for the next week. God wants you to chill.

Blessings,

John

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