marriage – Page 4 – John Markum

Minute to Lose it

Posted on February 4, 2011 by johnmarkum

I watched a very exciting episode of the new game show, Minute to Win It, with my wife the other day. It’s a very creative idea for a TV show and seems to be very family oriented: a breath of fresh air in such a value-deficient media. And who said only bad news sales?!

But as I got thinking about the concept, I began thinking of things that take a considerably longer time to earn, yet could be ruined in a brief moment of poor judgement. Doubtlessly, you can think of others to add to this list:

A good marriage. Takes half a lifetime to get right. Easily ruined in a variety of ways, and in less time than it takes to say “I did.”
Respect. You can work your whole life to develop the respect of your peers, children, spouse, and co-workers. One whoops can ruin a thousand at-a-boy‘s.
Health. Probably the first on the list that can be lost innocently. You can workout, lift weights, do routine cardio-aerobics, etc… One bad hit during a pick-up game and your limping for weeks (or longer).
Sobriety. From any substance. As Mark Twain once said, “Breaking the smoking habit is easy… I’ve done it hundreds of times.” You haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in years, and one tough day can push you to urges you haven’t given in to for a long time.
Purity. Once you cross those lines, you can’t uncross them. Losing something so precious and valuable to someone who has no intentions of committing to you is why God insists that sexuality be reserved for the safety of marriage. Plus, it saves you from a very uncomfortable conversation with the person you will marry.
Friendships. Some develop faster than others, but the best ones are always those that are forged by time. Good friendships are all too often torn apart by one act of betrayal, gossip, or selfishness.

Did you notice? None of these things are worth any amount of money. You would likely be very willing to empty every bank account you possess in order to keep the things on this list or in order to get them back. Don’t trade your most valuable possessions for something that is temporary and worth far less!

Blessings,

John

Gender Equality and the Bible

Posted on January 8, 2011 by johnmarkum

Some have suggested that the Bible puts women in a place of inferiority in the home, society, and with God. Before I get too deep into the subject, it suits us to first observe a few facts regarding this subject:

Both men and women are created in God’s image, and therefore considered to possess similarities to God in their own unique ways, and to be of equal value to God. (Genesis 1:27)
Women are found to be used by God in places of leadership as well as men. (See Deborah, Anna, Priscilla, Huldah, Phoebe, Lydia…)
Women have been prophets in the Bible.
Women have provided leadership and instruction from God to men, including kings and preachers.
One woman appears to have been a “deacon” in the church. (The greek word diakonos is translated to “deacon” but literally it means “servant.” It is applied to specific men, as well as Phoebe in the New Testament. Some translations call Phoebe a “deacon” or “deaconess” for consistency.)
Scripture generally excludes women from teaching in the church except under the authority of a man, specifically her husband. (1 Timothy 2:11-12)
Women are required by God to be submissive to their husband “as unto the Lord”. (Ephesians 5:22, 23)
Men are required by God to love their wife “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.” (Ephesians 5:25)

Now to summarize all of this with what we already know, we have to start by acknowledging that men and women are different and therefore cannot possibly be “equal” in every way, nor should they be. Physically, emotionally, relationally, biologically, and mentally we are totally different. So more accurately, men and women are equal in value, but not in role or function. The average man is stronger than the average woman. The average woman can have babies. Men… 0%. Men are more adept at learning some skills and abilities, whereas women are more adept at others. We’re not the same! Is that a point we even have to argue?!?

The tension comes with the relationship between us. In marriage, according to the Bible, the husband is suppose to be the leader among equals. As a pastor and counselor, I have found that a majority of women are willing to follow a man that’s worth following. Especially if the husband is loving his wife to the same level that Christ loves His church and died to save it. It takes as much courage to follow as it does to lead.

What about in the work place? The Bible does not relegate women to working only within the home. I think a woman should get paid the same as a man, so long as she has the same qualifications, tenure, and productivity. Are there some jobs women should NOT do? I personally feel that men are to be protectors. Because of that, I’m not a big fan of women taking combative roles in the military or police forces. Call me a sexist, I guess I’d rather see a man die saving a woman than see a woman die saving man. With that said, I have nothing but respect and gratitude to the men and women who have fought for freedom.

If you’re a man… you were made in the image of God and to bear His image as a man. You have a calling and a role in life and history that is worth you pursuing as a man.

Women… you are not inferior. You are different. God created you in His image as well, and you are called to bear that image of God uniquely as a woman. Embrace your nature and calling and be everything that God has already equipped you to do as the woman He has created you to be.

To both men and women… change your world in the way God has gifted you to. We are not simply opposites, we are complementary of one another.

Thoughts on Marriage

Posted on October 31, 2010 by johnmarkum

For some reason I watched Sister Wives for the first time tonight – a show about a family consisting of 1 husband and 3 (soon to be 4) wives and their children. The controversial nature of their family makes them a perfect candidate for TLC programming. While I find the show… enlightening, I am far from promoting their polygomous lifestyle. The show did make me think of some thoughts on marriage in no particular order:

God made 1 woman for 1 man. Genesis 2:24
Scripture makes no wholesale command against polygamy, except in church leadership. 1 Timothy 3
Proverbs 22:3 – ‘nough said!
Frank Ramono to son Ray on Everybody Loves Raymond, “If you’ve got a problem with your woman, don’t go get another woman. Now you’ve just got TWO problems!!!”
How do you court another woman without committing emotional adultery? Matthew 5:28
Is it not hypocritical for 1 man to have 4 wives, yet each wife is expected to be married to 1 man?
Polygamy is against the law in all 50 states. Romans 13
My wife (singular) is the only woman who can satisfy all of my needs – emotionally, relationally, and sexually – guilt free.