Family – Page 4 – John Markum

30 Favorite Memories

Posted on December 30, 2011 by johnmarkum

This week I reached a milestone: my 30th birthday. As I turn the corner on my 20’s, I couldn’t help but reminisce. Here are 30 of my favorite memories across 30 years of life.

Giving my life to Christ/Getting baptized. Age 7. Grace Baptist Church, Columbus, GA.
Fishing at “The Crappie Hole” with my Dad. Age 11. Ft. Benning, GA.
Hitting my first home run. Age 12. Post Team. Wahiawa, HI.
Preaching my first message (scared to death!). Age 14. Lanakila Baptist Church. Waipahu, HI.
The summer I spent with my cousins in OK. Age 15. Stillwater, OK.
Missions trip to Panama (life-defining!). Age 17. Panama City, Panama.
Arriving at Bible College alone (learning faith). Age 18. Baptist Bible College, Springfield, MO.
Leading 30+ kids to Christ at the Boy’s and Girls Club with my best friend Lucas in one afternoon. Age 19. Springfield, MO.
Becoming a Resident Assistant (I learned a LOT!). Age 20. Springfield, MO.
Seeing Tiffany Pendley for the very first time. Age 21. Leesburg, FL.
My last “first kiss”. Age 21. Madiera Beach, FL.
Taking 2nd place in college-wide preaching tournament/1st place in Duet Acting (wrong career?). Age 22. BBC. Springfield, MO.
Asking Tiffany to marry me. Age 22. Springfield, MO.
Parents’ surprise arrival for my graduation. Age 22. Springfield, MO.
Walking the stage/receiving my degree. Age 22. Springfield, MO.
Watching Tiffany walk down the aisle to me. Age 22. St. Petersburg, FL.
Moving from Missouri to Virginia (Tiff slept the entire way there). Age 22.
Coming home to my wife for the first time. Age 22. Fairfax, VA.
Baby #1: Emilee. Age 23. Fairfax, VA.
My ordination. Age 24. Fairfax, VA.
Financial Hardship (Learned to trust God). Age 25. Springfield, MO.
Baby #2: Kaliana. Age 25. Springfield, MO.
Getting hired at Edgewood. Age 26. Rock Island, IL.
Starting The Awakening, our Saturday night service. Age 27. Rock Island, IL.
Baby #3: Josiah. Age 27. Moline, IL.
Preaching at Lucas’ Youth All-Nighter (LOTS of teens got saved). Age 28. Richmond, IN.
Anniversary trip to California with Tiffany (7 years married). Age 29. Santa Clara, CA.
Missions Trip to help start Audacity Church. Age 29. Wichita, KS.
Baby#4: Elijah. Age 29. Moline, IL.
Being blessed by so many people that God has placed in my life over 30 years.

It’s been amazing. I cant wait to see what God does next.

Blessings,

John

Fathering Daughters

Posted on December 7, 2011 by johnmarkum

When Tiffany and I started growing our family, God blessed us with two girls before we had our boys, Josiah and Elijah. I had always been the kind of man that looked forward to raising my boys:

Throwing the ball in the backyard.
Coaching them in baseball or basketball.
Going fishing.
Watching them begin taking an interest in girls.
Explaining later why girls are so mean (kidding! kinda…).

But then we had Emilee… and then Kali. And suddenly I had to begin thinking in terms of Barbie dolls, tea parties, princess dresses, estrogen, and (some day) boys – as in other boys. Boys who will look at my little princesses the same way that I first looked at their mother years earlier. At least I’ll know how to deal with that side of things. I can communicate very effectively to the male specie (“Touch her anywhere, and your loved ones will never find you again.”). But I digress…

I think I’ve always had a good idea of what it meant to be a good Dad to boys. And if we had started out with Josiah and Elijah, I wonder if I would have been as good of a father to my girls as I’m trying to be now. But being blessed with the family God gave me, made me have to think about this sooner. So here are a few things I feel as if God has taught me about being a father to Emilee and Kali, that every man with a little girl should realize:

Girls like to be noticed. Yes, in general all females do. But they start looking for it very young. And it’s different than with boys. Girls want you to watch them dance, show you their new outfits, sing you a song, and on it goes. Boys do need attention too, but I find that they’re looking more for affirmation, whereas girls are looking for admiration.
Girls need gentleness. I’m working on this one. It can be so hard to show this when they get in trouble. Specifically, I’m learning to walk the tight line between being gentle and being soft. I still have to be their parent, which requires rules, discipline, and consistency. But with my girls, I have to manage to show them tenderness even when disciplining. I told Emilee once that when she disobeys it makes me sad. She didn’t even realize I had feelings past happy and angry before that.
She’ll likely marry a man like you. I “date” my daughters for this very reason. Whatever poor young man tries taking my girls out for a date one day is going to have huge shoes to fill. Not because I spoil them, but because I treat them like the young women I know they can be one day. If your daughter uses you as a model for finding a husband, what kind of standards will she have?
I can be myself. My girls get to see the real me. My kids know that I work at a church, that God is my boss, I tell people about Jesus, I like Mountain Dew, video games, guitars, sports, and books, I get in trouble at home for saying “stupid,” and that I am helplessly in love with their Mommy. My girls don’t need me to be more feminine (something I can’t be), they need me to be a better man (something I should be).

Blessings,

John

“Stop and Look at Me!”

Posted on October 28, 2011 by johnmarkum

Kids, man… I’ve got FOUR!!! And I love the heck out of each of them. But they can also be a handful! There are times when my kids are playing in the house and running around after each other, making noise, and causing general chaos. I’ll sometimes try to speak over the situation with some kind of instruction, like:

“Hey, no running in the house!”
“Don’t you dare throw that at her!”
And my favorite… “BE QUIET!”

Eventually the chaos is more than I can stand and I have to get very direct. I’ll grab one of my children and pull them away from their ruckus, and demand their undivided attention. But even as I am calmly attempting to give them a very clear, direct command to behave the right way, they sometimes will try to pull away from me, eyes pointing back toward their favorite distractions. It’s then that I demand them to “Stop and look at me!” Sometimes I’ll say, “Give me your eyes!” I know that until they pull their mind away from their chaos, they’ll never really hear what I’m trying to tell them.
Is it possible that you and I miss out on what God is trying to tell us because we are so busy with our grown-up chaos? When is the last time you felt God saying, “Stop and look at Me!”
I confess that sometimes my prayers consist of little more than a quick shout-out to God as I’m racing from this meeting to that function, and back to my office before the next function. That’s like my kids running around, doing their thing and giving me a “uh huh, yeah, ok Dad. Whatever you say…” kind of response. They didn’t hear me. And they’re probably not going to act on what I told them. Their eyes give it away. When they’re not listening to me, they’re usually looking away at what they would rather be doing other than talk to me. And God knows that until He “gets our eyes” He doesn’t really have our attention either.

When is the last time that you got out of your chaotic schedule, slowed down, and gave God your undivided attention? If you do have a regular habit of quiet time and prayer, how easily distracted do you get by the demands of your life? What will it take for you to “give God your eyes”? What are the things that you’re often looking at that pull your attention away from stopping and looking at God for a few minutes each day? A cell phone? Computer screen? TV?
Slow down your day for 15 minutes, preferably before the chaos really begins, and quiet yourself, tell God you’re listening, and give Him your “eyes.” You’ll feel closer to Him throughout the day, you’ll likely be a lot less stressed, and you’ll give God priority above all your other pressing demands.

Blessings,

John